What a strange day... had coffee with a really nice girl while still in KL and then moved to Singapore.
In Singapore had a nice drink with this girl I really like and did my usual "1, 2, 3": listen, seduce and close. The strange thing was the seduction took a while. Initially I thought I was just enjoying it, but later I realized I was being played. She wasn't the typical player, but there was definitely something about her pose: the introvert with strong character, the ultimate mystery.
She was still in love with someone and that was clear and that's when I decided I had to seduce her. She had to fall in love with me.
"So, you have totally analysed me by now. What do you think?"
"I think you are genuinely insecure, but you do pretend to be more than who you really are. Sort of like presenting yourself as a victim... but you are not"
"How so?"
"You are totally playing me. I thought I was in control at the beginning of this, but I am definitely not any more"
"And is that my fault?"
"It is indeed. Not mine. Can't blame it on my own insecurities and 'women on pedestal'-type syndrommes"
"So it is my fault"
"Yup and there is only one thing you can do to make it better"
"What?"
"Kiss me"
Which she did. Is she the one? - I wonder. Let's see.
2007/01/15
Of feet and a beautiful smile @ 20 years old - June
I was at her place. Her parents for some reason liked me and after a night of great and proper celebration, I ended up staying there.
We were in the kitchen. It was late.
I was sitting on the floor looking at you and you didn't know how much I liked you. Or at least I thought you didn't.
You were on your bare feet, beautiful dress that stopped just above your knees. I was mesmerized. It wasn't sexual, it probably wasn't physical at all. It was your "aura". Your beauty that came from within and that was unstoppable. Your naive-self that seemed to take over everyone's worlds. At least it did for me.
At that moment of absolute closeness and almost bliss, I knew you were the one I would never seduce and inside I cried. Months followed of stupid games that weren't games, but just figments of my imagination.
Because of you, I became my "fake me". I became someone else. I lost myself to you and never found myself again.
My "fake me", well... he's been successful at seducing, meeting tons of people, advancing through his professional life...
And that's about it.
Or is it?
We were in the kitchen. It was late.
I was sitting on the floor looking at you and you didn't know how much I liked you. Or at least I thought you didn't.
You were on your bare feet, beautiful dress that stopped just above your knees. I was mesmerized. It wasn't sexual, it probably wasn't physical at all. It was your "aura". Your beauty that came from within and that was unstoppable. Your naive-self that seemed to take over everyone's worlds. At least it did for me.
At that moment of absolute closeness and almost bliss, I knew you were the one I would never seduce and inside I cried. Months followed of stupid games that weren't games, but just figments of my imagination.
Because of you, I became my "fake me". I became someone else. I lost myself to you and never found myself again.
My "fake me", well... he's been successful at seducing, meeting tons of people, advancing through his professional life...
And that's about it.
Or is it?
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